feelings.events.memories

upon further reflection, it just dawns upon me how humbling this foc has been for me. in light of the grace that i have been given and shown, and the abilities and skills i thought i had. God brought me crashing back to Earth. post-internship, back to reality, and back to God.

whilst on internship i was really living in my tiny Christian bubble, relatively sheltered from sin, thinking that i was doing 'alright' in my faith and with living life as a Christian student cum leader in CF and in church. how very wrong i was proven to be.

the group that i had during camp played a big part in my experience during FOC. unlike the previous year, my group were relatively nominal or less "on" as compared to my previous group. this group didn't seem very interested in Christianity on the whole, and was generally more concerned with their own lives that they were living, singing k-box and doing their own things. personally i found it a real struggle not to judge them (as though i was any better right.:/) especially when they said that they would consider coming for CF during the semester and setting things right. perhaps in the group context they do not give much hope, the horde mentality leading them away from positive fruitful conversations. or perhaps they had just nothing to share at all. even as i type this, i feel like a hypocrite, a judge.

thank God that the last day went well, but I really pray that God's Word had touched their hearts and that they would be open to coming to hear more about the gospel. really feel ultimately burdened for these folk and how they are reacting to the gospel.

how sad is it, when people come and hear about the gospel, recognize the importance of it, but yet choose to live their own lives the way we want to.

God, grant me grace, that I may not spurn your grace and continue in my own sin, lest i despise what Jesus has done on the cross.

Help me to love the sinner and the saint, that I may be a tool for you to bring people into your Kingdom.